Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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