just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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