ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize