Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
