Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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