That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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