Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
