go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
