god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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