What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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