just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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