she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
