We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
