so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize