My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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