It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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