Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
