So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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