SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
