I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize