yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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