She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
