he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize