it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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