he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
