Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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