Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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