Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How naked do you want me to be?
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