I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
