As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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