Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
