he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
