oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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