Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
