the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
