Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
