I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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