I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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