we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
