I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
