dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
