My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
