My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
