So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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