Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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