two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
