guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
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