she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize