it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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