So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
