Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
