nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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