You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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