Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You can't motorboat a personality
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Randomize
