She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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