I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
