i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
