So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
