I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
