I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
