More tranny stories later!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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