I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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