I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
