I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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