Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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