when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
