O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
