I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
