I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
