i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
