Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
