I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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