Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
zippers are such a cool invention
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize