now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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