me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
