OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
